But knowing if someone is worth a second date is not always easy to work out.
So what’s a good way to approach the first date?Dr.
“It is important to be present and learn about the person you are with.
This allows you to learn about your date on a deeper level and assess compatibility,” said Cohen.
But how do you know if something is a red flag or if your date is just nervous?
“It’s a red flag if your date doesn’t respect your limits for physical intimacy.
You should feel safe and in control on a date.
You, too, can avoid making misreading them by observing them closely.
It’s an art form to understand someone’s body language,” Fae told us.
If your date just goes straight for it, they aren’t listening to you."
Instead, according to Cohen, your date should want to get to know you.
Fae says if your date talks about themself all the time, they are displayingnarcissisticbehavior.
The first date is a great time to observe how the person you are with treats those around them.
“A major red flag is when someone is aggressive to service or staff members.
It can be very uncomfortable to sit there and watch your date order the wait staff around rudely.
“Seeing someone treat others for less than what they are is a disgusting feeling.
“Bringing up past partners is never a good feeling, especially when you just started seeing someone new.
“Respect where they are coming from and what their opinions may be.
Cohen says you should feel comfortable expressing your opinion.
Hazan says your date should not be on their phone unless it is urgent.
“A date being on their phone the majority of the date is just rude.
They’re not respecting your time, energy, and feelings.”
If your date has a patronizing tone when talking to others, this displays that the person lacks empathy.
Fae says that this red flag is one you should not ignore.
This indicates that communicating with this person will be challenging,” says Cohen.
“Listening and communicating is how you not only grow together, but evolve as individuals.
A relationship that doesn’t include communication will be extremely difficult to sustain.”
“Dating isn’t all about sex, especially when you are looking for commitment.
It requires vulnerability and communication, so they probably only want a one-night stand.”
As Hazan puts it: “Everyone has different ways of reading cues.
However, everyone has different boundaries.
In the beginning dating stage, exploring these boundaries in a healthy way is normal.
But if you’re being gaslighted or pressured to have sex, that’s a major flag.
There is no respect for you or your boundaries.”
According to Fae, having a similar vision for the future is essential.
“It’s never going to work if you both don’t have the same end game.
Both people need to want the same things out of life and the relationship,” says Fae.
This also goes for timing as well.”
That way, you’ll know what you’re in for before things go any further.
“The idea of love bombing is to make you feel really appreciated really quickly,” says Hazan.
It’s an attempt to ensure manipulation or abuse in the future.
If it looks or sounds too good, it probably is.”
“Love bombing is typically for the wrong reasons.
They admit to ghosting people
Being ghosted is terrible.
Imagine feeling a connection with someone and then discovering they are purposely trying to avoid you.
If your date is boasting about having ghosted someone, experts say that is a clear red flag.
“In the end, we appreciate honesty more than anything.
Hazan agrees, and says if your date is proud of ghosting someone that is a sign of disrespect.
“The idea of possibly being ghosted can instantly put you on edge.
Hazan says that ideally, your date should be eager to meet for a second date.
“If your date is purposefully being vague about meeting again, beware,” says Hazan.
“Unless they genuinely don’t know what their schedule looks like, this shouldn’t be ignored.
It’s not something you want to rationalize or justify away.”
However, this also goes both ways.
It’s better to cut it off early than down the line when emotions have been built.
Never lead them on, both for your time and theirs.”
