Let’s face it deep down, we all hope that people like us.
Once you’ve won people over, you will be more likely to have healthy, fulfilling relationships.
You might also be more likely to succeed in both the social and the work spheres.
Winning over a new friend, for instance, might mean you get invited to exciting new social events.
Winning over a boss might lead to a smoother work life or even a promotion.
In fact, a 2017 study by theAssociation for Psychological Sciencefound that asking questions increases your likability.
“Ask questions that garner responses other than a yes or a no,” Grotts tells us.
This way, the other person will feel leave the conversation feeling that you shared a strong rapport.
Actively listen
If you want people to like you and trust you, become a good listener.
However, it can also be a useful technique to employ in everyday life.
so that become a good listener, practice repeating what the other person said in your own words.
You may find yourself thinking about your to-do list or your weekend plans.
Bruce Bassi, M.D., a psychiatrist from Jacksonville, Florida.
“This is especially true the smaller the details are.”
A 2020 study inAdministrative Science Quarterlyexplored how a technique called “linguistic mirroring” can help.
Linguistic mirroring is a process that involves picking up on the other person’s linguistic habits and mirroring them.
“Take your cue from the other person,” says Susan McLennan.
“Do they speak in short, punchy sentences?
Do they use humor or stories to get a point across?
Take note of how they like to communicate and reciprocate.
Practice good eye contact
An easy hack to win people over is simply to make eye contact.
Some people even believe thatprolonged eye contact can help romantic couples fall in love.
“The eyes have it and speak non-verbally for us,” says Lisa Mirza Grotts.
Dr. Bruce Bassi also agrees.
Susan McLennan warns us.
“Be with the person you’re with.
Common ground can include shared interests, common friends, or even shared knowledge and skills.
This small gesture will be a welcome surprise that shows you respect and care about the other person.
Plus, it will hopefully help to put you in your friend or co-worker’s good books.
Get creative about the little gifts you give.
“Small gifts are just thoughtfulness in action.
They don’t even have to cost money,” says Susan McLennan.
“I had a mentor who lived by the sea and would sometimes bring me shells from her walks.
Make an effort to sneak their name into your conversations a little more often.
When they hear their name, they’ll feel more important and more understood.
People are much more likely to remember you when you use their name.”
Again, it’s important not to get creepy with this hack use it sparingly.
It can also be a way to create emotional memories.
But be careful not to “show off” your inside jokes when you’re around others.
“Inside jokes work when the humor is understandable to those on the inside.
If not, it can alienate others in conversation,” warns Lisa Mirza Grotts.
Have productive, honest arguments
In most relationships, there will always be a few disagreements.
Think about your phrases before you speak, especially during arguments.
This will help you avoid being overly offensive or cruel while fighting.
Give the other person space and time to make their points, listen, and respond carefully.
If you learn how to have healthy arguments, you might even find that your relationships grow.
“Great friendships grow through the discussion of ideas,” says Susan McLennan.
“Inevitably, you will differ with your new friend on some of those ideas.
Disagreements strengthen a friendship.
They signal resilience and they expand its edges and scope.”
As Susan McLennan puts it: “Popcorn is lovely but it doesn’t make a meal.
It’s the same with banter and pleasantries.”
“Deepening your ideas and your discourse will deepen your friendship.”
However, be careful not to get too deep too fast.
After all, people like compliments.
“But see to it you are sincere.
Of course, be careful not to scare the other person away.
Being a notorious gossip is a surefire way to make people distrust you and even dislike you.
Especially when you enjoy mean gossip about others.
“People will inevitably wonder what you are saying behind their back and will be guarded with you.
If you want to win someone over, avoid spreading gossip in their presence.
“Avoiding gossip demonstrates to the other person you would not gossip about them to other people.”
If you do enjoy the odd gossip, take a stab at keep it friendly and kind-spirited.
On the other hand, gossiping about a mutual friend can make you come across as untrustworthy and judgmental.
So, if you want to gossip, tread carefully.
