You’re left feeling frustrated, hurt, and confused.
What is happening in this scenario is referred to as stonewalling.
So, how do you spot stonewalling in a relationship and why does it happen?
Do you pretend not to listen or walk away?
Do you or your partner avoid eye contact or pick up another activity in the middle of a disagreement?
Do either of you use one-word answers as responses?
These are all signs of stonewalling in a relationship, perBetterhelp.
Giving the silent treatment and being dismissive or defensive are also stonewalling behaviors to watch out for.
Understanding the reason behind stonewalling is an important step in navigating the problem.
Therapist Doug Roest-Gyimah tellsBridesthat stonewalling is “often a survival mechanism of sorts.
It happens for a variety of reasons.
For instance, you could be having trouble expressing your emotions, or perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Each of these things contributes to what CNet describes as unintentional stonewalling.
With intentional stonewalling, the reasons are more spiteful in nature.
Not only that, but the partner who was shut off can feel disrespected, hurt, and angry.
Therapist Doug Roest-Gyimah also notes that stonewalling can make the partner who was stonewalled feel lonely.
“Letting someone into our inner-world is allowing both of us to feel close and connected.
Chronic stonewalling can lead to chronic loneliness,” he explains to Brides.
“The more aggressive you are, the more likely they are to shut down.”
