The BodCon is an annual virtual conference centered aroundbody positivity, body confidence, andself-love.
One of the guests is Dani Carbonari (or Dani DMC).
Dani is a plus-size model and content creator who has made confidence her mission.
The start of Dani’s modeling career
What made you want to be a model?
I don’t know if I actually ever wanted to be a model.
That’s my first answer.
I didn’t think there was a space for me.
Being a plus-size woman, [the option] wasn’t a reality.
I didn’t have anyone to look up to in that space …
I more so fell into the modeling industry …
I grew up in Chicago; I’ve lived in New York City.
She told me, “it’s crucial that you get into the plus-size modeling industry.
You are so photogenic.
You have a great look like the industry’s taking off right now.”
I did everything she told me to.
She sent me this list of things I should do, and I did everything she said.
I got signed within two weeks.
I can be aplus-sizewoman and take up space in this industry."
It was kind of miraculous how it happened.
I was already signed in Chicago.
I got signed in LA and New York, and I hadn’t been signed in New York yet …
They offered me a contract.
I got to my car, I’m sitting on Sunset Boulevard, and I started crying …
It felt so powerful.
That’s also when I started social media … ## Facing obstacles as a plus-size creator
What have been some of the biggest obstacles in your career?
There have been more obstacles in my career than smooth sailing because this industry was so new …
Here I am, a size 18 girl in a bikini.
But if someone seven sizes, eight sizes smaller than me does it, it’s totally fine.
That was a huge thing.
[Another obstacle is] being new being the new kid on the block.
There is a side of social media [that is] very much like, “Look at me.
I have what you couldn’t have, so follow me.”
That’s this theme that has been established on [social media]: “Watch my life.
You’re going to fall in love with me.
It’s infatuating.”
Her life looks amazing.
I can achieve that.
I can get to that place."
It’s not something that’s unattainable, and it’s not something that’s out of reach.
Being a confidence one-percenter
As you mentioned, you call yourself a confidence activist.
How did you first start to build up that confidence in yourself?
I went along with that storyline for a while, like, “Okay.
That’s how I was.
I always took up my space.
I was never this shy, quiet girl.
You’re a one-percenter financially?”
I’m like, “No, no, no.
That’s why I call myself a confidence activist …
If you’re truly confident, it’s extremely selfish not to share that with other people.
The first part of confidence is the relationship you have with yourself.
I would love to do courses in a school one day.
That’s on my radar.
I want to do retreats.
I want to speak in schools because it needs to start at a young age.
I always start at the root, which is the relationship with yourself.
I always implore people to start by stripping themselves from everything.
To me, what that looks like is honing in on the relationship with yourself.
What are your actual thoughts?
That makes no sense because I’m literally setting the beauty standard up against me.
I don’t have brown eyes.
I don’t have red hair.
I’m not a size two, so that makes no sense.
If we’re talking about beauty, that’s one part of confidence that I like to touch on.
You have to include yourself in your idea of beauty.
That starts with the relationship with yourself.
I always tell people to prioritize their relationship with themselves.
you gotta set boundaries.
That’s extremely important.
[Do] a sweep of people around you.
I don’t deserve that.”
I’m not going to let someone speak to me like that.
I’m not going to let someone put me down like that.
How dare I put myself down like that?
I’m not going to let myself speak to me like that.
That’s wild."
I’m so glad you asked that, because confidence is the number one pillar in your life …
I have a work confidence workshop.
It’s called the Confidence Rebirth.
Why don’t you teach a course on how to monetize and how to be a content creator?"
But I’m doing you so much more of a service by teaching you about confidence through my platform.
Literally, the list could go on and on.
If you have confidence, you are going to have a better quality of life.
There’s no doubt about that.
As soon as you start standing in your confidence and in your power more, everything starts to change.
You’re also participating in BodCon this year.
What made you want to get involved in that event?
I’m so excited for BodCon.
I’m the punch in of person that I don’t care how many followers I have.
I don’t care about the number of followers.
I couldn’t care less about the numbers.
I care about the engagement, and my number one thing is impact.
I always want to have an impact.
I feel so honored and excited.
We love talking about and highlighting the fact that we’re in a relationship.
I’m a plus-size woman, so dating while plus-size is a huge topic we talk about.
Being in an interracial relationship is something we talk about.
I’ve been able to teach him a lot [about confidence] behind closed doors.
Because I’m struggling as a plus-sized woman.
So many men want to hook up with me but not date me."
That was such a reality for me.
I struggled with that so much.
He dealt with a lot.
People said a lot to him [about dating me].
I was the first white girl he dated.
I’m excited to be able to share that with BodCon and everyone that’s there joining.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
