Uncomfortable emotions are difficult to deal with, especially in a relational context.
Think about that time when your spouse wanted to go out on a Saturday night.
Did you want to say no but didn’t?
Were you afraid of how they’d react?
You knew your friend would get upset and you didn’t want to make them feel bad.
And it’s affecting your relationships.
There’s a very good chance it’s atoxic relationship habit that most people think is healthy.
What is fragilizing?
Think of an egg.
It’s very easy to break an egg because its shell is fragile.
According to leadership coach and psychologistDr.
John Townsend,fragilizing is about treating your partner (or others) as very fragile individuals.
It’s about tip-toeing around their emotions for fear of upsetting them.
There are many possible reasons why you’re prone to fragilizing.
Perhaps you grew up in a conflict-ridden household and wish to avoid arguments at all costs as an adult.
Maybe you have a lot of anxiety surrounding disappointing the people you love.
Fragilizing might look innocent, but it’s actually negatively affecting your relationship.
You’re pushing your likes and dislikes down on the priority list and allowing room for blurred boundaries.
There are, however, ways to turn things around.
Townsend recommends distinguishing between sensitive and/or reactive people and someone who is truly fragile.
It’s highly possible that your partner might just be sensitive or highly reactive.
Not going along with everything they want to do is not going to break them.
you’re free to even use yourself as an example, per Townsend.
When was the last time you received some bad news?
How did you handle it?
Sure, you might have been upset for a little while but didn’t you bounce back?
The same logic applies to your loved one.
Start small and speak your truth firmly and kindly.
It’s an exercise inself-care that can change your relationship for the better.
