We may not like to admit it, but, sometimes, friendships come and go.
Remember in high school when we all pledged to our friends that we’d be best friends forever?
As children, we’re often conditioned to believe that friendships last forever.
And this concept of BFFs never really goes away.
Just think of all of the TV shows that preach the eternal nature of friendship.
Unfortunately, just like romantic relationships, platonic relationships aren’t all meant to last forever.
Just like couples,friends sometimes drift apartand change.
Somefriendships can even become toxic.
“And that obviously isn’t true for many people.”
When you and your friend go your separate ways, it can be tough.
Emotionally, cutting ties with a friend can feel strangely similar to a romantic breakup.
Here are some expert-backed tips on dealing with a difficult friendship breakup.
In fact, they can evensometimes be worsebecause they are more confusing.
It’s important not to push down your feelings but acknowledge them for what they are.
You may suddenly feel untethered when your weekly coffee dates, brunches, and WhatsApp chats have disappeared.
She suggests thinking about what makes you feel cared for.
Self-care is a great place to start.
You might also begin to realize why this friend may not have been the right friend for you.
Think back to when things started to go wrong.
That way, you aren’t repeating the same mistakes or patterns in the future."
Analyzing your friendship isn’t just a way to learn and grow.
By assessing your friendship after it ends, you may come closer to finding some sense of closure.
You may also find it easier to move on with confidence in your new friendships.
While it can be normal to look for people to blame, it’s rarely helpful or accurate.
Of course, sometimes, thereissome fault involved.
What should you do then?
“Friendships end for many reasons,” according to Allison Raskin.
“Sometimes it is one person’s fault more than the other.
All we can hope to do is learn and heal so our future friendships are different.”
If you realize that you are at fault for certain things, don’t be too hard on yourself.
Acknowledge what went wrong, and figure out what you might take away from the experience.
“Our brains don’t like unfinished business or messy endings,” Juulia Karlstedt told The List.
Instead of fixating on those unanswerable questions, have a go at change your focus to something else.
Even though thinking about your relationship can feel good, it oftenbecomes unhealthyafter a while.
You may find yourself trying to ignore or push away these feelings.
Experts often recommend letting yourself feel your emotions.
After doing so, you’ll be better equipped to let them go.
Even if you never fully get over it.
And no one says you have to!"
Visualize your body as a lake and your feelings as leaves that fall into the lake.
Then, imagine a stream slowly carrying the emotions around the body.
This gentler approach to your emotions will make them less intimidating and more surmountable.
Plus, it will help you to slowly allow more space inside yourself for new, happier emotions.
Just be careful not to spend too much time talking about your friendship breakup with your other friends.
This way, you’ll be able to focus on the future rather than the past.
But why not craft new plans?
“Having something to look forward to is always a great tip,” Allison Raskin told us.
However, it’s usually best to avoid reaching out.
Reaching out could even make things worse rather than better.
“Maintaining contact might create more tension or bad feelings,” Raskin explained.
Speak to a therapist
The end of a friendship can be traumatic to say the least.
“Therapy isn’t just for when we are really struggling,” Karlstedt assured us.
“It can be a great tool to process any significant life changes, including a friendship breakup.
In fact, coming to therapy earlier rather than later will always give you the best results.”
Wondering if therapy is the right option for you?
Well, according to Karlstedt, that is a good sign that it is exactly the thing you need.
And hopefully, by focusing your energy on the positives, you’ll move forward sooner rather than later.
