Research shows thatfriendships are the number one life factor contributing to optimal health and longevity.
You have to build them.
But how exactly does one do that in adulthood and the digital age?
Creating a new social circle in adulthood can be difficult.
Yes, but it will take some work.
The friend hunt
So, where does one even start?
Like you would in real life, scope out who seems like-minded.
With Instagram, this is easier to figure out than ever.
Harvard Business Review’sAscendrecommends that you search for groups that you are genuinely interested in.
Use hashtags and location searches to discover communities of people who care about the same things as you do.
Perfect, it’s time to reach out.
Remember to put yourself in their shoes; you’re an internet stranger.
Try your best to come across as warm and avoid anything pushy sounding.
If you are true to yourself, this will hopefully come easily.
“Avoid trying to create a close friendship too quickly.
Respect the natural rhythm of getting to know someone,” says relationship coach Claudia Cox toldMic.
Nonetheless, don’t overthink it.Anxiety around messagingis super real.
You’d rather say something a bit dorky than nothing at all.
And again, remember these people are human with anxieties of their own.
As the old platitude goes, you’re usually your worst critic.
A simple “Hey, want to text instead of dm?”
is a great way to inch your friendship towards something that branches out of the app.
When it makes sense, ask them if they’d want to do something in person.
If they seem enthusiastic and on board, propose a plan.
It’s also a great idea to think of something that aligns with your shared interests.
Maybe there’s a new yoga studio you want to try or an anime film you want to see.
If you know they’d be interested, invite them to join you.
This is a great, subtle way to show you want to meet in person.
If awkward moments do arise, let them roll off your back.
Again attempt to remember you’re human, and so are they.
you’re free to be critical as you think about scheduling another friend date.
There are tons of people out there, and many of them would make great companions for you.
Check that you’re not settling for someone who isn’t a great fit.
Otherwise, you might be forging afriendship for the wrong reasons.
you should probably feel more good than bad after we hang out with each other."
So ask yourself, did this person make you feel comfortable?
Did you find the conversation stimulating?
If not, it might not be a good match, and that’s 100% okay.
One of the main reasonsit’s hard to make friends as an adultis that we’re all busy.
Between work, family, and self-care making friendship a priority is no easy task.
But showing someone you care and that they can trust you is vital to making a meaningful friendship.
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine revealed five things any good relationship needs.
); Availability (How available are they to spend time together?
); Reliability (Can I count on them if I need something?
); Responsiveness (Do they reply to my emails and texts?
Do I hear from them on a consistent basis?
); and Predictability (Can I count on them to act in a certain way?)."
Finding a friend who meets most or all of these elements is essential.
And you should hold yourself to the same standards if you feel like you’ve found a good friend.
It can take extra work, but there is nothing better than a healthy, loving friendship.
Who knows, your newest bestie could just be one Insta DM away.
