As a parent, I am constantlysecond-guessingevery decision I make.
Am I being too stern, too laid back, not fun enough?
Luckily, knowing the mistakes ahead of time is powerful.
The problems are serious and include behaviors like negative body image, aggression, and low frustration tolerance.
However, the more aware of these problems we can be, the better we can prevent them.
I am constantly catching myself and trying to use more empowering language.
Even though it feels like our kids tune us out much of the time, they are always listening.
We don’t even have to mention the child’s weight at all to have an effect.
Lack of financial knowledge
I used to think that I was just bad with money.
Once I took accountability for my actions, I realized that I had just never learned about money management.
“Just as big as sex, money is crucial for children to understand from an early age.
When we are consistent, our kids know they can count on us.
The best strategy is to always be consistent, especially with consequences for negative behavior.
“Set clear limits and boundaries and consistently follow-through with the established ground rules.
Parents who model consistent responding reinforce trust and dependability in the parent-child relationship,” explained Mendez.
Remaining firm and clear teaches children accountability for their actions.”
“Children look to trusted caregivers to set examples and model problem solving.
“Responsible parenting involves setting limits in a compassionate and empathic manner.”
Never crying
Seeing your child cry is painful for any parent.
However, just because the tears may make us uncomfortable, it is important not to shut them down.
Helping our children feel their emotions and move on will serve them much better down the road.
“Validate and see your child as a sentient person who has her own emotional world.”
Letting the tears roll is even healthy for your child.
A study in the journalFrontiers in Psychologyfound that crying is how children self-soothe and even has mood-boosting benefits.
It is crucial for parents to allow their children creative time when they are free to make mistakes.
“Consider free play, exploration, and opportunities for imaginary expression as equally important to learning enrichment.
Encouraging children to explore their natural talents and discriminate between likes and dislikes supports emotional growth.”
Aggression
We parents are human and sometimes lose our tempers.
The problem comes when yelling is a regular part of the day, especially from fathers.
Eating issues
Growing up, I was a proud member of the clean plate club.
I loved being praised for finishing my entire meal, and so I always did it.
“Over-protecting children interferes with the development of effective frustration tolerance, problem solving, and regulation.
Children need to learn how to manage difficult emotions such as anger and disappointment.
Over-protecting children from challenging emotions denies them the opportunity to prepare for the life.
Over-protection breeds dependency on others and reduces the capacity for resiliency and self-efficacy.”
I want my children to feel confident in their abilities to solve problems.
“Allow children to explore, make mistakes, face challenges, and experience emotions,” shared Mendez.
“Provide children with opportunities to practice skills safely and promote learning to enhance self-confidence and independence in children.
Distant relationship with parents
Raising children is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
Doing this only harms your relationship with your child.
This can result in damaging your own relationship with your children, as well.”
Low self-image
Literally every parent I know feels stretched thin much of the time.
We are constantly juggling work projects with changing school schedules, friend issues, and doctor’s appointments.
It is no wonder that we feel like there is never enough time.
When it comes to our children, however, it’s time to make the time.
“This scenario often results in feeling forgotten, unacknowledged, and unimportant later.”
Unhappy mothers
Parenting mistakes do not just have consequences for our children.
We parents can suffer from our own mistakes as well.
For example, putting too much pressure on ourselves as mothers will lead to dissatisfaction with ourselves.
“If intensive mothering is related to so many negative mental health outcomes, why do women do it?
“In reality, intensive parenting may have the opposite effect on children from what parents intend.”
Low satisfaction in college
College is this magical time of total freedom with zero responsibility.
However, parents can have an impact on how much our children enjoy their college experience.
He was running around, knocking over displays, and yelling at his mother.
The shocking part was that his mother didn’t react.
When he ran into me without looking, no one stopped him to make him apologize.
“We live in an extraordinarily child-centered age,” Psychologist Richard Weissbourd toldBoston Magazine.
