But bullies don’t start out that way.
They turn to bullying because they lack self-esteem, feel powerless, and ache for attention.
In an interview, Jodi J.
The consequences of being a bully are long-term.
The academic, social, and overall well-being of bullies are negatively affected."
“Does the child focus on differences to pick on?
Do they encourage others to join in their ridicule?
Do they label or call other children names?
In this case, it’s not the playful banter that many children engage in.
It’s hurtful language that makes other kids feel bad and inferior.
Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and bestselling author, agreed.
Behavioral challenges may also include impulsivity and thoughtless reactivity to perceived slights.”
Your child hangs out with bullies
What do you think of your child’s friends?
Are they nice kids?
Do they seem to get along well together?
Jennifer Freed, Ph.D., cofounder ofAHA!(Attitude.Harmony.Acheivement.
Water seeks its own level.
So true in the bully sphere."
Are they excluding specific kids?
Dr. Mendez suggested that often bullies don’t know how to deal with differences.
Clyde agreed, and asked, “Is your child being inclusive or exclusive?
Are they actively inviting kids over but turning down a couple names that used to be included?”
see to it that you teach your child to include others.
Unfortunately, popularity can sometimes equate to cruelty.
If you’ve ever seenMean Girls, you know what I mean.
Cameron described the behavior like this: “Your kid will do anything to be popular.
They will venture to attract other popular kids that may be brash in their delivery.
Your child acts aggressively toward others
Aggression is one of the most common traits found in bullies.
Your child may not be aggressive physically, but pay attention to their language as well.
Freed told me that bullies “act more aggressively at home and are not discussing their social life.
They are using derogatory and disrespectful language.
They talk back more and put other people down frequently.”
Rogers-Nelson recommended taking action to help your child learn how to respond to negative emotions differently.
“They could also suffer from mental health issues or learning disabilities.”
But bullies often seem to enjoy seeing other people suffer.
They may even inflict pain on others in an attempt to feel better about themselves.
This lack of empathy can show up even in young children.
Remember, they are withdrawing to nurse difficult emotions.
Children rarely admit to bullying so it is important to have the facts.
Why do children bully?
Children who bully others aren’t bad people.
They’re often reacting to feelings of insecurity, powerlessness, or frustration.
Whithead told me, “Children may bully others because of low self-esteem or insecurities.
Sometimes when they feel powerless, it may cause them to act out aggressively.”
Children learn how to act by observing others.
“They could have adults in their lives that are modeling bullying behavior.
This could be a parent, teacher, coach, or other adult,” Rogers-Nelson told me.
Unfortunately, many children turn to bullying when they are bullied themselves.
you better check out whether their older siblings may be bullying them.”
What can you do if you think your child is a bully?
If you think your child might be a bully, first find out what’s going on.
Then take action to help your child learn how to behave appropriately.
This may begin with looking at your own behavior and intentionally modeling positive, compassionate action.
Children learn what they live, and more is caught than taught."
She gave me a number of suggestions for helping your child become more giving toward others.
Then take action to help your child learn how to behave appropriately.
You have the power as their parent to stop the behavior and teach them empathy.
