When it comes to love and romance, “compatibility” is something of a buzzword.
Furthermore, many couples end up breaking up because they’re just not compatible with each other.
Relationships thrive when two people share companionship and activities.
However, a couple doesn’t have to have every interest in common."
Interestingly, sexual compatibility is, in many ways, an extension of Firestone’s take on romantic compatibility.
Nonetheless, they might still be compatible based on how they navigate their similarities and differences.
For example, maybe you and your partner love to start sex out with a relaxing back rub.
Or, perhaps you both enjoy something kinkier, like breaking out the handcuffs.
Either way, sharing these things is what, superficially, makes you compatible.
Couples who have compatible fantasies get turned on by similar ideas, thoughts, or images.
Because of these commonalities, couples can actually increase their sexual connection by talking about their turn-ons.
One2019 studyasked couples to fantasize about sex, both separately and together.
Throughout the study, participants recorded the impact of their erotic imagination on their relationships.
According to the results, couples that fantasized together grew closer together.
Spouses should never pressure each other to do anything they don’t want to do.
No force and no sulking either."
Since sex drives often ebb and flow, it can be common for couples to havemismatched libidos.
Back scratches, hand massages, and head rubs are all good strategies for experiencing non-sexual intimacy.
While this is a normal part of a healthy relationship, it’s not always fun to face rejection.
For the person receiving the rejection, this means keeping things in perspective.
Meanwhile, the person who doesn’t want sex can protect their partner’s feelings by rejecting them kindly.
When it comes to sex, the same is true: Not everybody is equally adventurous.
Per Mark’s research, over 90% of people have had sex with the lights on.
Additionally, 89% of women reported having experimented with sexy lingerie.
When spouses are sexually compatible, they generally fall within the same range of sexual adventurousness.
However, this doesn’t mean that spouses who fall on different ends of the spectrum should just separate.
Presumably, everything worked out because, as Skyler explained, “they were both happy to compromise.”
Unfortunately, though, this level of compromise can be challenging.
In the survey, both members of each couple responded to the questions, although separately.
Couples who want to up their compatibility might consider talking about becoming more adventurous.
Sexologist Dr. Jireh Serfontein said (viaNews24) that one way to do this is with a Yes-No-Maybe questionnaire.
This mini-survey asks partners, separately, which specific sexual acts interest them.
Afterward, Serfontein suggested couples “sit together to compare the notes.”
If there’s any overlap, partners can discuss bringing these acts into the bedroom.
According to sex and relationship psychotherapist Silva Neves, there are strategies to help couples navigate their sexual differences.
According to professor and founder ofThe Casual Sex ProjectDr.
“With kink, those desires and needs can be very strong.
If you might’t get those needs met in your long-term relationships, you won’t be very happy.
Partners who are compatible must have the same definition of cheating otherwise, they are likely headed for disaster.
Experts say that this is a mistake.
Psychology professor Susan Boon discussed the reasons why couples attempt to avoid this conversation.
Part of it is that we’re not aware of the variability of standards.
We assume wrongly that what I consider unfaithful you would too,” Boon said (via theBBC).
After all, people change with time, and so do their sexual interests.
On the contrary, compatibility is about exploring andgrowing together as the years go by.
Thus, by frequently checking in about their respective sexual desires, partners can build and maintain long-term compatibility.
You’re able to keep compatibility in perspective
Everybody and every body is different.
“It [is] about the ease with which the two of you manage your sex lives together.
It is more to do with your perspective on how the two of you feel about your differences.”
Because of this, experts say that sexual compatibility like anything in a relationship takes work.
“It’s not something that you just set and forget.”
Do you want a different amount of sex than you did before?
Have your fantasies changed?"
By listening to each other’s responses, spouses can achieve more compatibility.
