The world’s attitudes toward the LGBTQ+ community are changing, but not fast enough.
If these are new conversations or it feels awkward for you, say so.
TheUniversity of California, Mercedhas shared some additional examples of heterosexual privilege for allies to study and understand.
Thinking of your own life, have you ever had someone wonder about the cause of your sexuality?
Has anyone ever asked you why you are straight or choose to be so open about it?
How difficult was it for you to find a place to worship?
Adversarial listening, on the other hand, positions you to defend, resist, or oppose.
When a person is talking, you should not be preparing your rebuttal or interrupting.
Instead, listen for understanding and reflect or paraphrase what the speaker said.
The general life skill of active listening also comes in handy when being a great LGBTQ+ ally.
Put away devices, make eye contact, and respond to the speaker to affirm that you are listening.
One early distinction is that there is a big difference between supportive action and objectification of the community.
Taking action isn’t about wearing a rainbow shirt or engaging with similar marketing ploys.
If you’re new to being an ally, a good starting point is practicing fundamental advocacy.
Hold yourself accountable for mistakes
Everyone is learning, and the world is continuing to change rapidly.
Trusted allies also take responsibility for any current and past actions a move that shows great growth and accountability.
The comment can also invalidate a person’s sexual identity.
Asking someone to minimize their appearance or behavior to be “less gay” is also wholly unacceptable.
Queer people are often asked from a young age to hide their identity to make other people more comfortable.
According to theACLU, this teaches shame and fear.
Don’t assume you know a person’s gender or identity or understand their lived experience.
If unsure of a person’s pronouns, offer yours first (viaChicago Tribune).
Be respectful of pronouns and new names
When you are presented with pronouns, honor them.
Practice talking aloud about the person using their new pronouns with a friend or loved one.
Using the right names and pronouns creates a safe environment for a trans or nonbinary person.
According to the LGBT Ally Toolkit, “Ally is a verb, not a noun.”
Allies are encouraged to examine and understand their beliefs and ask difficult questions.
For example, have you ever attended an LGBTQ+ support event?
Why or why not?
How would you react if your child came out as LGBTQ+?
Have you ever laughed at or told a joke that targeted the LGBTQ+ community?
Do you know any LGBTQ+ history?
Identifying implicit bias is the first step in working to change your mindset.
The good news is that everyone is empowered to change their minds.
To help own the struggle means to transition from ally to partnered accomplice (viaYWCA).
It takes consistent daily work over time to effectuate change in the world.
Allies must show up every day, ready to continue the battle in whatever fashion they can.
For educators,GLAADhas suggested including personal contributions from within the LGBTQ+ community in their curricula whenever possible.
The fight for LGBTQ+ rights is still extremely young and in need of committed allies.
Join other groups, such as theGay-Straight Alliance.
The idea is to increase awareness and gather the support of other allies (viaYouth Engaged 4 Change).
Openly being an ally also means living the life of an ally year-round.
Openly celebrate the successes and milestones of your LGBTQ}+ family and friends.
You’ll meet other allies along the way as you celebrate together.
