Divorce is a common outcome for many couples, yet it can be a deeply lonely experience.
For friends of those going through a divorce, it’s crucial to be present and supportive.
Onestudysuggests that women lose 40% of their friendships following a divorce.
Simply staying by your friend’s side is one of the most supportive actions you might take.
Still, it can be difficult to find the right words to communicate your support.
However, giving advice to someone going through a divorce can backfire.
Especially when advice is unsolicited, as the receiver may feel judged or criticized, perPsychCentral.
This can make it harder to heal following a divorce.
One common piece of advice given is to quicklystart a new relationship after the divorce.
Post-divorce timelines are rarely one size fits all.
But not everyone feels comfortable opening up, especially when the decision to split is still fresh.
There are a number ofreasons why marriages fail, each just as personal as the next.
Ask if they want to share what happened, and respect their wishes to keep mum.
If they choose to not share personal details, don’t take it personally.
Well, sort of.
One divorcee told Reader’s Digest that their friends' criticisms of their ex-spouse felt like criticisms againstthem.
Your loved one may want to complain about their ex, but avoid chiming in.
Even if your friend is venting about her ex, resist the urge to jump into the game."
My sister’s divorce took two years," can inadvertently trivialize the hardships your friend is experiencing.
Imagine how challenging their divorce is from their perspective, without comparing it to others.
So what should you say?
Sometimes, the best things to say to someone going through a divorce are also the simplest.
Leave your personal opinions and advice aside, and simply let your loved one know that you’re there.
Finally, knowing what to say (and do) can be as simple as asking.
But you may not know until you ask.
