We often hear that communication is a key part of anysuccessful relationship.
But what happens when your partner refuses to talk to you?
We spoke to a few relationship experts to find out how.
We are not always able to verbalize what’s going on inside our hearts and minds."
Some non-communicative people withdraw from conversations when they feel emotional, tired or stressed.
So, to give the conversation the best chances, pick your time wisely.
“Timing is important.
“Find a time where they have the mental and emotional space to have it.”
Miller recommends paying attention to your and your partner’s energy levels.
What are you most focused?
“Is it early or mid-mornings, afternoons or early evenings?,” she asks.
This way, you could schedule conversations at the best times.
Why can’t they talk to you?
Why are they shutting down?
Instead of becoming angry, have a go at practice empathy.
“Don’t be that person.
Take a series of 10 deep breaths before you begin your communication with your partner.”
If you could’t calm yourself down, it’s probably time for a time out from the conversation.
“Encourage that by starting with sharing how you feel and inviting them to do the same.”
Instead of bribing your partner, simply try asking them to open up.
“Honesty and authenticity are the keys to open, real conversation with your partner,” she says.
Can we agree to meet at X time?
It would mean so much to me.'”
The more emotional you and your partner become, the less likely you are to empathize with each other.
Plus, if you’re dealing with a non-communicative partner, they will become more likely to withdraw.
Parsons suggests keeping things calm by avoiding the blame game.
“In a relationship, there’s always two sides and two different experiences of the same thing.”
Miller also recommends trying a technique called “creative visualization” before you dive in speaking to your partner.
“Your mind and body feel relaxed, you breathe deeply and let go of any anxiety.
Maintain that frame for conversation with your partner.”
“We’re all incredibly sensitive to our partner’s body language,” Milton tells us.
“How you show up physically has a huge impact on how open and receptive your partner will feel.
She recommends starting by breathing slowly, relaxing your body and opening your arms.
Stay close to your partner; you might even place a hand on them if it feels appropriate.
By being physically open with your partner, you’ll encourage them to be emotionally open in response.
Without making accusations or blaming your partner, tell them how their silence makes you feel.
While it may seem obvious to you, it’s not always as clear to your partner.
“But be careful not to shame or blame your partner.
Instead, be specific.
Tell them about behaviors and habits that make you feel a certain way.
This will help your partner understand that you want to help them rather than accuse them.
The best way to begin the conversation is simply to ask your partner how you could help.
Miller recommends asking other guiding questions, like, “Can we practice speaking and listening to each other?
Are there things that make communicating with me difficult that I can change?
What would make communication easier and more fun?
Can we be more playful in our conversations?”
“Focus on the parts of your communication that might be challenging for your partner.
Work through the blocks that surface in a conversation, and ask your partner for help.”
For instance, you and your partner may realize that whenever certain topics come up, they freeze up.
“Ignoring problems only makes them worse,” he says.
“Continue to ask them about their feelings and what would make them want to share them.”
“Listen and ask questions to genuinely understand.”
As Milton puts it, try not to “listen to respond.”
Instead, listen to understand.
The more you venture to really understand your partner, the more they will feel safe telling you more.
By understanding how you and your partner are different, you could improve your communication.
It may be worth chatting with your partner’s friends and family about their experiences.
You might also pick up some tips for people who have a little more practice.
And remember, some therapy is always better than no therapy.
“Even a session or two can change the course of your relationship,” Miller says.
and Helen LaKelly Hunt.
